The #1 Way To Tell if He Will Hurt You or Not
It’s not wrong to make a promise you can’t deliver on. We all overestimate our ability to handle certain situations and sometimes we only realize how big of a mistake we’ve made when were knee deep in the shit.
And it’s when we’re wading through all the negative feelings that the real test begins.
How do you handle yourself when you’ve made a promise you can’t keep?
A past experience taught me a tough lesson, one that took me about a year to learn. And I realized I wasn’t LIVING what I teach.
In one of my videos, I explain how to know if a man is worth your time and energy. And one of my main tips is to pay attention to how he handles conflict.
When he has a rough day at the office, does he nit-pick at you when he gets home?
When he’s feeling stressed about money, does he take it out on the waitress and not leave her a tip?
I explain how this is a MAJOR red flag, and to not ignore these signs because it shows that a man can’t handle his emotions, so he will inflict pain on those around him to make himself feel better.
He’ll use hurtful words. He’ll resort to blaming you. He’ll smash things. He’ll yell. It won’t be pretty.
It became extra clear to me that I was ignoring this exact red flag in my relationship. My man had made a HUGE promise to me early on in our relationship, and a few months after moving in together, everything started to collapse around us.
He couldn’t live up to his promise. And I was ok with that, but the resulting anger and resentment I felt from him was what I was not ok with.
I took the (figurative) punches and did everything I could to make the relationship work. I did more chores, put more effort and money into looking amazing, bottled up my real emotions and tried to pretend that everything was ok.
I thought that if I did all these things, he would wake up and see that I’m worthy of his love. Fuck, my old patterns had come back and I was so deep in it, it took me a long time to see the real issue.
I was settling. I knew it and he knew it, too.
I was settling for a love that was so deeply resentful, and I saw the ugliest, darkest parts of me and of him come out on a weekly basis.
He was so deeply wounded by his inability to keep his promise, that he lashed out in anger and I started to feel small again. I had no say. I had started to play the victim again.
I didn’t know where to find the strength to say enough is enough. I felt like a shell of myself and I needed him to tell me that I was whole again. I needed his validation to know that I was a great girlfriend.
I stopped listening to myself. I stopped trusting myself, even though something deep inside me was telling me to run.
It felt really shitty, but shit is still warm…
I’ll fast forward to the end…he broke up with me. He couldn’t see the pain ending and the more we “tried” to make it work, the worse we felt.
So he ended it, for both of us.
And now I want to own my story. I want to own that pain and how it fueled me to become a better person, teacher, lover, sister, daughter, future mom.
I want you to know that even if you fail, even if you set boundaries and forget them at some point, even if you become lost in a relationship, that you can still find your way back.
Then up-level and get EVERY FUCKING THING YOU’VE EVER WANTED.
We ALL make mistakes when we’re ready for change. I get it, it’s so fucking hard to let go of your comfort zone and become the woman you’ve always wanted to be.
Change is fucking scary. And uncomfortable. And sometimes it’s downright fucking painful.
But you will ALWAYS come out better for it, it just depends on how you react.
Do you allow yourself to become the victim? Or do you allow that pain to become power?
Comment FUCK YES to this post if you’re a woman who wants to finally own that, to finally feel in control of your life, to finally feel whole no matter what shit is thrown at you.
Comment FUCK YES if you never want to feel stuck in a relationship with a man who doesn’t see how amazing you are.
Comment FUCK YES if you’re ready to have the relationship that all your friends are jealous of.
Let's do this together, yeah? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you're ready to talk about how we can work together to get you your dream man!